Xmas Post

Ok, so I'm a little - a lot - late posting to the blog... I wonder if anyone is even checking this I've taken so long to post... oh well.

Here's an update.

So our household has changed a mite. Maya is acting out more... dancing, yelling, bossing. She's also taking to painting her hands and face with marker.

See:

She sort of gravitates towards being the center of attention in a loud and boisterous manner. She is endearing most of the time, especially when your energy can match hers. At other times, well, it can get difficult.

You know, I never imagined that the alpha of the children would be the middle girl in a family, but that seems to be the way it's shapping up...

Ethan, on the other hand, hasn't changed too much, at home at least. The teacher says he is acting out a little more in class and that he has a hard time focusing on what is going on in class... she has mentioned that she noticed some changes around the time that Dharma was born. I find it interesting. I mean, he has changed but he hasn't. The games he is gravitating towards are a little more physical and violent (to some degree...). He's all about Star Wars and lightsabers... every touch of the "saber" -rolled up newspaper or wrapping paper tubing - means you have to die. Yeah, it's violent. But he's also me 30 years ago... Man, did I just say 30 years ago!?... to some degree there has to be a "boys will be boys" aspect to this.

So, did this change just happen to coincide with the birth of the youngest or was the birth the catlyst... or was it the influence of peers... (now that he has peers...)

It doesn't matter, in my eyes. Bottom line, he has to develop. He has to explore death and dying in multiple different play and imagination settings. It's healthy. I feel that pushing this type of play back will lead to either repression or his hidding the play - which is way worse.

To some degree, Ethan is being bossed around a little by everyone, except for Dharma. But, at the same time, we all love him to bits and we show him that love at every opportunity...

With Amanda, although she isn't pulling her hair out, she is struggling to deal with the constant flow of demands from the children. She has also missed the adult relationships that explored different parts of her personality, especially the relationships she had with clients... always being the same "Amanda the Mom" is a hard way to pass day after day...

Dharma, well, he's good. Life is good for him. Goods eats, warm sleeps... what else could you want... oh yeah, a full service washroom.

Here's a few of the latest of Dharma:

I've got a little news too...

As most of you know I've been teaching a lot of yoga lately. Things have really taken off, too. I'm teaching 6 classes a week. 3 mornings and 3 nights... and as of now, no weekends, for a while. Soon, I'll be picking up a couple of lunch hours, which is pretty exciting too.

I absolutely love it!!! It's so much fun and it invigorates me for my day.

I also just received word yesterday, that I got a promotion at work... so now I'm a team lead - also fun stuff...

Anyway, that's all from our end for now... please email us, let us know you are reading this stuff... and fill us in our your lives.

With love, have a great holiday season.

OM Shanti!!

Todd

Pictures from Dharma's first week at home

So today I'll be posting those pictures I've been promising (b.t.w. this site is quite a challenge to post pictures on, but I'll get it, eventually)... there are lots of pix and stories of firsts from the first week Dharma spent with us at home. We have alot of pictures, so I'll see if the pictures help to tell the majority of the stories.
There are some pictures that Amanda has told me are redundant... but you know what, those pictures are here, because I couldn't decide which to keep and which to leave out.

I figured why be choosy?

The first set of pics are of us catching Dharma sucking his thumb for the first time and Maya holding Dharma for the first time.

In the next set below, the first of the"redundant" pictures... and then there's the kids loving Dharma and loving having their picture taken...

another "redundant" pic, but a better view of Dharma. These kids are some cute! :-)
Below we also catch the kids in one of their favorite play areas - Our Bed!

And the next 2 pictures are a whole different kind of first. The 2 pictures below are the first 2 pictures that Ethan took with Mommy's camera! I have to tell you that I was super impressed!












Also new this week, Ethan' been using one of my yoga mats as a hiding place, it was too cute to pass up. And I'm also including some cute pics of Shawna and Karine, from their visit. Also some pics that were too cute to leave out, and Dharma doesn't look bad either.

I hope you enjoyed the pictures.
I gotta get back to the kids and stuff...
Next week I hope to answer some of the email questions we received... the one question that was asked and that's been on my mind the most is how the kids (and even the parents) have changed or adjusted to having a third child in the house -- I find this to be a very interesting question indeed.
Please email us if you are enjoying the site and the pictures. Thanks :-)

Maya's Birth Story

As described below in Ethan's Birth Story, we are putting the kids' birth stories online for safekeeping and for nostalgia's sake... hope you guys enjoy them...


Fashionably late – a day “late” – possibly to make sure we were paying attention, or maybe to make sure we were ready for her – Maya Trinity Margaret was born Monday, February 9th, 2004. She came out kicking and screaming. She wanted everyone to know she was here!! Our little Aquarius has already started marching to her own little drum.

What a night!?

Although, we’re not exactly sure when the labour started, it could have been during one of our few false labours, or maybe it was sometime before that – maybe when Amanda was told she was 3cm’s dilated and completely effaced (two weeks before the actual delivery date). Some were heard whispering that some of the spices in Sunday night’s stew may have “set her off”. I personally think that it was just time… although, whether it was Amanda’s or Maya’s schedule remains to be seen…

Amanda’s water broke at ten to three in the morning of the 9th. Five very eventful hours later, almost to the minute, Maya entered the world.

At about five to three, Amanda climbed back into bed and said, in a déjà-vu kinda way, “I think my water broke”. Now, it being the second time that I have heard these exact words, I figured, strangely enough, that my reaction should be the same. Non? Well it ends up, I was wrong. You see, I said, “O.K., well, how are your contractions?” The reply being a suspiciously vague “I’m not sure. They’re not very strong or regular.” So I said, “O.K., well, go back to bed and we’ll go to the hospital in the morning.” Apparently, that was the wrong answer. So, I got out of bed.

Now, we had been worried about a few things leading up to this evening. Amanda had had a hard time sleeping a few of the nights leading up to this. She was mostly worried about what we were going to do with Ethan. I told her that her aunt Shirley said that if we had to, we could bring Ethan along with a playpen – apparently it happens all the time on “that” birthing show. Again, another wrong answer. So, I called my brother Ben. I told him I would pick him up in ten minutes that he had to watch Ethan. Which he was more than kind to try to do… he didn’t mention that he was violently ill. I only found this out when I called home the next morning to find that Peter had relieved Ben of his responsibilities. Ethan and Peter got along famously – giggle fits and all. Peter did a wonderful job for us on both Monday and Tuesday, in fact.

So, we got to the hospital around 4a.m. and were promptly admitted. At this point Amanda was 5cm’s dilated and completely effaced. By 5:30 Amanda was administered Demoral. She thought that it would take the edge off her contractions… hmmm. She only found that it made her tired. She said, later, that this would have been great had the labour been like Ethan’s (25 hours). She might have been able to get some sleep.

By 6:00 am, Amanda realized that the contractions were growing in intensity. It’s probably for this reason that the narcotics didn’t seem to give any noticeable relief. By 6:30, the epidural was being administered. Now, interestingly enough, second births (like the children that they yield) can show reflections of what the parents learned the first time around… if any of you remember Ethan’s birth story (if you don’t have it and would like to read it just reply to us and ask) Amanda was dead set against drugs, but she ended up needing them due to circumstance. Funny enough, with Maya, Amanda went into this experience with a different resolve. I suppose you could say, “Minimal pain for maximal gain”. To be fair (I’m always fair aren’t I?;-), Amanda had recently pulled her groin muscle trying to catch our acrobatic, stability impaired son, Ethan falling down the stairs. This pull shot pains through her obliques every time she coughed or sneezed. She dreaded the thought of full blown contractions and the pushing phase to come, for this very reason…

For my part, I was nervous and stressed. I know, Amanda was the one doing all the work and going through all the pain. But, I was in a tizzy nonetheless. I was thinking way too much (for a change). Early on, from about 4:30am ‘til about 5am, every contraction slowed Maya’s heart rate considerably. And, on the way into the hospital I, for some reason had been focused on all the things that could go wrong. The umbilical cord stood out in my mind. So, every time I saw the little heart rate drop from 140-150 down to 95-110 during the contractions I got nervous. It didn’t help (my nerves) to see that the nurses were equally (though legitimately) concerned. It ended up being the position Amanda was in. By 5:30 the condition had cleared itself up and the concern level had decreased. (Although, during the pushing phase the concern had reemerged and there was a new found attention placed on the fetal heart monitor… they tracked this right until the very end.) My stress levels must have been pretty apparent. Dr McCarthy mentioned to Amanda the next day that he was keeping an eye on me because he thought I was going to pass out.

Speaking of Dr McCarthy, the nurses had been in touch with him all evening/morning. But, it wasn’t until 6:45 that we really understood how fast the labour was progressing. By 7:15 Amanda was 9.5+ cm’s dilated… and Dr McCarthy wasn’t due in until just after 8am… eeks. Well, he showed up at 7:30. I heard one of the nurses say, “That man just pops up right out of the ground when you need him!” - the funniest moment of the night happened just after I first saw him - I was so relieved when he entered the room (see Ethan’s B-announcement for his calming effect)… well my relief was expressed by my exclaiming “Mr just-in-time!!” – to which Amanda took her first swipe at me (it was only a mild body blow ;-)…

From there Amanda started her pushing. WOW. A whole lot of work. She also said later that the contractions weren’t helping her that much… but this feeling might have also been due to the relatively short time lapse between the epidural administration and the actual pushing phase… last time the epidural’s effect had elapsed and the oxitocin was in full force. This time, the epidural was in full effect and there was no oxitocin helping out.

And then at 7:54 am, a glimpse at the sublime and happiness and relief all around.

Maya was born.

Many of you may or may not be wondering what cemented the name for me. I mean, it took us over 12 hours to pick her first name. Well, in the spirit of being thorough, here you have the definition of Maya:
1. The power of a god or demon to transform a concept into an element of the sensible world.
2. The transitory, manifold appearance of the sensible world, which obscures the undifferentiated spiritual reality from which it originates; the illusory appearance of the sensible world.
Very powerful indeed. I suppose these could mean very different things to many different people. But, to me, the name represents a few possibilities. There is the possibility of applying or transforming knowledge (or what we know) into practice (or the “sensible world”). It could also represent living out ones beliefs. Or it could be maintaining a post modern sensibility and understanding of existence.
In the end, however, I hope it is Maya who teaches me the meaning of her name.
Good will to all, and thank you for sharing in the beauty of our day.

Attached is a slideshow of some of our most beautiful moments and joys from the 9th of February, 2004.

P.S. we lost many of our email addresses recently. Please forward this message along to all our friends and family we were unable to reach this “round”. And to those of you who are receiving this email 2nd hand and would like to be in our contacts list, please reply to us so that we may add you (anew) to our address book. Thanks.

Ethan's Birth Story

Since the site is brand new, we've been thinking of putting all of the kids' birth stories up. That way we have an on-line record for safe keeping... and plus they make for fun reads and good nostalgea... plus we can see how we've changed over time (even if it is just a couple of years)

Here they are, as they originally appeared...

Dr: It's a boy!
Homer: And what a boy!

Ethan Maddison Greer Lavictoire was born Friday August 16th, 2002 at 2:30am. To Amanda's chagrin, she is now the mother of a Leo. Oh well, he was four weeks early. The good news is we didn't have to go through the final month of anticipation. I'm very thankful for that (among many, many other things).

Ethan weighed in at a healthy 6lbs 5oz's, actually on the hefty side for only going a supposed 36 weeks in utero. The Dr has since said he may have been a good 37+ weeks...

Mom is doing phenomenally well, except for sleep deprivation. Many of you (notably the women) will be interested, perhaps in awe, or maybe envious to know that Amanda was neither torn nor cut. Nothing! She considers herself extremely lucky on this count. In fact, she certainly never ceases to amaze me these days. The morning Ethan was born, we wanted to go visit him in I.C.U. (just precautionary measures, due to his "premature" status) and Amanda got up and walked from one end of the Hospital to the other... she wouldn't hear of taking a wheelchair!

A brief summary of the day, for those interested in more than the pictures attached:

I'm going to go with the major (and some minor) milestones of the days really. Many of you who have had kids will enjoy and appreciate the events. Those who haven't had kids, well, you may or may not be interested. But some of its funny... especially the fact that we took forever to realize that a "mucus plug" is synonymous with "water breaking"...

Wednesday, Amanda's last day at work.

Thursday, on the board for this day were professional pictures of her belly that will never be taken.
instead:
Thursday begins at
1:30am: Amanda notices her water has broken.
2:30am: Amanda tells Todd "I'm leaking". But the leak is slow, Amanda decides to see if she can sleep more before calling the Hospital.
3:30am: Nobody can sleep, so a call is placed to the H. They tell us that her "mucus plug" has popped. Get some sleep and see the Dr in the morning, they tell us.
5:00am: Nobody is sleeping yet. Todd gets up for the day.
6:30am: No change, so Todd and Amanda go run an errand to pass time until the Dr's office opens.
7:30am: Breakfast at Denny's. Amanda is hungry, but the food is terrible. First call to Todd's Mom. She is a little disconcerted about Todd and Amanda's non-challant approach to the events of day so far. She later describes us as being "in denial".
8:30am: A call to the Dr's office, no answer, Amanda infers that the office must still be closed. She requests a sleep break.
10:30am: Second call from Todd's Mom. She is much more than disconcerted (yikes!). Todd and Amanda go to the Dr's office.
11am: Dr tells us we are in labour and that since Amanda's water broke at 1:30am we are to be at the Hospital for 1:30pm for an antibiotic I.V. (Amanda is 2cm's dilated at this point)
11:30am: Go home and pass a little time... call family and a few friends.
1:00 pm: Amanda wants to go back to bed, Todd makes her finally get in the car to go...
2pm: Manda is checked to H.
3pm: Manda is hooked up to Penicillin. (she is still 2cm's dilated, with 80% effacement)
3:30pm: Manda reluctantly agrees to going on oxitocin to be induced. The minimal amount of oxitocin is administered.
5:30pm: No noticeable difference in dilation or effacement. Contractions are not producing effective results at this time. Manda surprises all the staff with her ability to speak through all of her contractions.
9pm: Contractions have steadily increased in pressure and intensity. Amanda is now dilated to 4 cm's with 90% effacement. We know that we have at least 4+ hours left. And Amanda is seriously doubting whether she will have any energy left to push, both due to the length of her day and the intensity of the contractions.
Amanda reluctantly opts for the Epidural.
10pm: Epidural is administered, Amanda is relieved and ultimately pleased with her decision. Although she doesn't sleep, she does rest a bit.

Friday:
Friday was to be Manda's Big Baby shower.
1am: Epidural is starting to wear off.
1:30: 9cm dilated, paper thin effacement. Amanda is loving her ice chips. She also is beginning to feel nauseous with the pain.
1:55 am 10 cm's!!!!!! We are ready to push, Amanda is extremely relieved, this stage brings her a much needed 'relief' from the transition stage.
2:00 am: I see Ethan's hairy little head three inches away from the world.
2:15 am Dr shows up. Amanda's confidence goes through the roof! About 4 or 5 intense pushes and...
2:30am Ethan is born, everybody is happy. Amanda is quietly, exhaustingly, watchful and noticeably moved. She was amazing. I was, at this point, pretty much a babbling idiot. But, a happy babbling idiot.

A couple (2) of hours sleep. Exhaustion.

By 8am, we had named him.

Saturday:
A few more hours of sleep.
Early morning, Ethan finally forms a successful latch, and begins feeding. (phew! I know this can take longer, but at this point, I start understanding how parents worry about EVERYTHING!!)
Discharged from Hospital at around noon time. Still exhausted.

Now, it all happened very, very fast, although many of the steps seemed to take forever. I can remember a couple of occasions where I felt the beginnings of a paradigm shift for me. But really, everybody who has kids talks about that stuff. To me, it would take me a novel to explain many of the changes that this have already affected in me, from the trivial changes in attitude to the sublime changes in belief. And really, I'm not even certain that I would be able to explain the fundamental change that it has made in my perception of the world.

The effects of these days, outside of the presence of Ethan and our love for him, are simply ineffable.

Hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it.

Cheers.

Dharma's name

In response to some questions about Dharma's name.
I have to say that I had never considered the name until I became familiar with Dharma Mittra.
you can find a short bio at the following:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dharma_Mittra

Already familiar with most of the meanings I immediately liked the name for our little one, once I saw his little scrunched up face... :-)

The meaning of "Dharma" that reasonates most with us now is the following:

"In both the Buddhist and Jainist tradition dharma is considered to be the underlying moral structure of the universe. Following one's dharma, or duty, is the path to liberation."

As with all of the names of our kids, it is our hope that they eventually teach us their meaning.

Dharma on the Scene

Hi Everyone,

Welcome to our blogspot! We've started this blog to keep everyone up to date on our busy lives and our growing family.

The following is the birthing story of our newest member, Dharma Robert Everette (D.R.E.).

Dharma came into this world in a whirlwind adventure on Thursday, November 23, 2006.

It all started at around 5.45 am on Thursday morning. Amanda woke up and said she had "cramps". Now, given that this was our 3rd child, you'd think that birthing pains would be familiar - at least to a certain degree. But Amanda, using her water breaking as a primary indicator for the big event, wasn't too concerned. Haha, little did we know.

So, I asked: "You in labour?". To which she replied: "I dunno, maybe, I think they are just cramps."

I figured that today might likely be the day, especially, since we were already 3 days past Dharma's due date... so I called my parents.

Time check: 6.20.

I told my parents we were probably going to go to the hospital, so they should get ready. Amanda was pretty non-commital still about the whole thing going down... At this point, Amanda's been in the shower for 20 minutes, going on a half an hour before she actually gets out. So, I ask her if I can hop in once she's out. She says sure.

Time check: 6.45.

Cramps are now full blown contractions. I call my parents and tell them we gotta go.

Time check: 7.10.

I have already been told not to speak during contractions. My parents, who live 5 minutes away are not here. I call back, my mom says my dad has left... hmmmm. We leave moments (apparently) before my dad gets there. The kids are both still sleeping.

Time check: 7.15.

Conveniently, stuck in traffic. Oh, this is a happy time!

Time check 7.25.

In the Hospital Parking Garage. Contractions are 30 seconds to a minute apart. Every contraction, Amanda has to stop and pull on my shoulders for support. About 20 people walk by and watch. One person finally stops and says: "Do you need a wheelchair?". Almost dumb with non-belief that someone has acknowledged us, I say "That would be so-o-o awesome!" (who says that, really?!)

So now I'm thinking: "Home Free! All I have to do I wheel Amanda into the building, through the lobby, over to the elevators and down the hall to the delivery/labour section... HA HA Slow down Chief!! Every contraction now requires that we put the breaks on the whole situation.

Not only am I not allowed to speak during a contraction, I am not allowed to move... And I am thinking, "Oh man, how are we ever going to make it!?!?! We are nowhere near close to the elevators yet!". So, between contractions, I explain that we really gotta move... Amanda's thinking, "Well then go as fast as you want between contractions,then!!". But finally agrees to let me move her as contractions continue.

Time check: 7.35.

Reception. I.D and Papers required. Man, those nurses can be pretty non-chalant... so, they get us into a receiving room and then they leave us. (!?!?!?)

Amanda starts with the whole "I have to take my pants off!" and I'm thinking "holee. Hold on here!?!?" I leave the room and speaking incoherently get a nurse to come back in and help us. The nurse explains that Amanda needs to get on the table. And Amanda doesn't see that happening. The nurse leaves, again. Amanda gets on the table and then gets off, again.

I go get the nurse, again. The nurse tells Amanda to get back on the table, she has to do it! Amanda's ready to rip into the nurse, but decides against it. Amanda asks for drugs.

And you know, this is funny. Amanda has now spent a total of 26 months pregnant out of the last 39 monts. So, she has been anti-epidural for 26 months. She has also spent a total of 15 minutes reversing her personal stance on this option.

So the nurse FINALLY realizes that this baby is coming... also another factor that moves things along is that the nurse can't find a fetal heartbeat. We also hear that Dr McCarthy will not be able to make it... not having good feelings at this point.

Now we are moving Amanda down to the delivery section. As we round the corner: Dr McCarthy!! Yay, one good sign. The man knows what he is doing and he always brings calm to the situation. He also quicky finds the fetal heartbeat.

Time check: 7.40.

Once we get into the room some nurse asks if we would allow some young male 20 something paramedic to assist. whatever. But the funny thing now is that McCarthy is slowing absolutely everything down to conduct a teaching session. I have to admit I learned alot, but I'm also looking for more urgency from these people... I mean c'mon, let's get going...

[the following paragraph can be skipped by those who don't want too much detail]

So the McCarthy tells Amanda that it's Ok to push and he starts putting his gloves on. First push - KAPOW! The water broke! SO that indicator we were waiting on would have been a wee-bit late for us. Whe-ew! Baby crowns on the third push. Fourth push is controlled and the baby's head is out.

Dharma is born at 7.51. Healthy, Strong and Beautiful! His coloring is excellent and he lights up the room. The first time he is weighed they tell us he is 8lbs 2oz. They subsequently re-weigh him and he is officially, 7lbs 15oz.

What a morning!